I am going to be completely honest here. I feel like a fucking failure. I feel like I am paralyzed with this project and I am doing nothing and getting nothing done and I'm trapped by my own ability to sound like I know what I'm doing even when I don't have a god damn clue. I don't know what I'm doing. I really, really, really don't know what I'm doing.
I don't have to do a stop motion. I barely know how to do a stop motion and it will take forever and it's not a guarantee that it will even be good or that anyone will know what I am trying to say with it. I could do an animation, but I don't fucking know how to do that. I could do a painting. A PAINTING. I'm not in the fucking art department. It's not like the art students are going to do a simple branding project for THEIR BFAs.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
I thought maybe if I typed it three times then it would be like the Wizard of Oz and I would magically appear on the other side of May, unscathed.
I'm pretty sure I can do this. I'm pretty sure it won't be that hard. But I'm not 100% sure. And I don't want to look like a fool. And I don't want to disappoint every single person who likes me enough to show up at this stupid thing at the end of the semester.
A semester is long. The days have slipped by and slipped by. I have achieved the monumental task of figuring out what I WANT to do. Now I can't, for the life of me, figure out HOW to do it. How to get it done. I'm doing this internship and I have these other classes and I live in this enormous house with my boyfriend and our three roommates. All I can think about is how one day, hopefully so soon, I will have a job and earn a salary and we'll have our own place. But I have to clear this hurdle, and I don't know if it will have even the slightest little bit to do with getting a job later on. I care about my project and I love its imaginary little self to death, but it doesn't exist yet. It needs to EXIST.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
ARTIST STATEMENT / THING
I haven't blogged in so long. I am a blogging failure. This blog will end up on the virtual trash heap of blogs that no one ever tended to or cared about.
Self-hatred now out of the way, I'm trying to recharge my enthusiasm for this project and make sense of it to myself. Making sense of it will mean putting it into coherent written form. I'm semi on the way....
Artist Statement!
Poems are expressions of common experience, told from unique perspectives. We read and absorb the words, and, if they resonate with us deeply enough, we expand upon them and make the poem our own, coloring it with our own experiences and associations. My degree project will use my visual communication skills to do this very thing: reinterpret a poem as an interactive visual experience, using my own creative filter and unique imagery in a way that remains deeply faithful to the spirit of the original material. This simultaneously echoes the process of making, interpreting and remaking meaning that is so essential to graphic design.
Self-hatred now out of the way, I'm trying to recharge my enthusiasm for this project and make sense of it to myself. Making sense of it will mean putting it into coherent written form. I'm semi on the way....
Artist Statement!
Poems are expressions of common experience, told from unique perspectives. We read and absorb the words, and, if they resonate with us deeply enough, we expand upon them and make the poem our own, coloring it with our own experiences and associations. My degree project will use my visual communication skills to do this very thing: reinterpret a poem as an interactive visual experience, using my own creative filter and unique imagery in a way that remains deeply faithful to the spirit of the original material. This simultaneously echoes the process of making, interpreting and remaking meaning that is so essential to graphic design.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
AN ESSAY
Our unique perspectives form our understanding of the world around us. Life is a subjective experience; personal truths rule our existences, as opposed to cold hard facts. Reality as we know it is therefore fundamentally shaped by the words we read, the movies we watch, the faces and voices that surround us, and the beliefs and values we adopt as a result, almost always unconsciously.
Poetry provides us with various emotional lenses through which to view our realities. We read and absorb the words, and, if they resonate with us deeply enough, we expand upon them, coloring the poem with our own experiences and associations. We mold it to fit our own story, and use it as a tool to make better sense of our lives. In a very real way, the poems we love teach us who we are. They also help us to know that we are not alone.
With my degree project, I have reinterpreted a poem as an interactive visual experience, using my own creative filter and unique imagery in a way that remains deeply faithful to the spirit of the original material. Graphic design is based upon this very idea of making, interpreting, and remaking meaning, and designers communicate common experiences through unique persectives, just as poets do. I view my project as a conversation about personhood, and a demonstration of the place where poetry and design intersect. Perhaps most importantly, it celebrates that which unifies all humans: our emotions.
Poetry provides us with various emotional lenses through which to view our realities. We read and absorb the words, and, if they resonate with us deeply enough, we expand upon them, coloring the poem with our own experiences and associations. We mold it to fit our own story, and use it as a tool to make better sense of our lives. In a very real way, the poems we love teach us who we are. They also help us to know that we are not alone.
With my degree project, I have reinterpreted a poem as an interactive visual experience, using my own creative filter and unique imagery in a way that remains deeply faithful to the spirit of the original material. Graphic design is based upon this very idea of making, interpreting, and remaking meaning, and designers communicate common experiences through unique persectives, just as poets do. I view my project as a conversation about personhood, and a demonstration of the place where poetry and design intersect. Perhaps most importantly, it celebrates that which unifies all humans: our emotions.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
5TH WEEK REVIEW
Compiling photos/info for my 5th week review tomorrow and going over what exactly I want to say. I'm glad for this requirement to organize my thoughts and take stock of how far I've come, because that will help me to avoid tearing my own hair out of my head, going forward. I'm also glad for the opportunity to receive questions and input from various faculty. I kind of want to be put through the ringer on this. Why am I doing this? Why does it matter? How will I help my audience understand why it matters? And so on and so forth.
I need to track down a couple of sketches and scan them tomorrow morning, but otherwise I feel that I have everything I need on hand, even if it's still locked inside my own brain.
I need to track down a couple of sketches and scan them tomorrow morning, but otherwise I feel that I have everything I need on hand, even if it's still locked inside my own brain.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
VALENTIME'S DAY
Tuesdays and Thursdays I spend at my internship. I'm reminded of the pitfalls of having too little control over a design concept. Usually, specifically with the BFA project, I feel that I have far too much say-so. I sort of flounder with it.
My bosses at my internship are very busy and they aren't really design people - they have business and marketing backgrounds. There are good and bad aspects to that. Most of the time I like it. I spend 2 hours slaving away over the proportions of my custom letterforms, and they take one glance and say "I love it, just change the color and make this a little smaller," (for xyz reason usually completely unrelated to aesthetics,) and those 2 hours go appreciated by me only, but usually that's enough. I like that it gives me a sort of realistic idea of how design goes over with the general public. Design is a beautiful language. It's so satisfying to know all the rules and appreciate the minutia, but very unrewarding to be a strict grammatician in the world at large.
My bosses at my internship are very busy and they aren't really design people - they have business and marketing backgrounds. There are good and bad aspects to that. Most of the time I like it. I spend 2 hours slaving away over the proportions of my custom letterforms, and they take one glance and say "I love it, just change the color and make this a little smaller," (for xyz reason usually completely unrelated to aesthetics,) and those 2 hours go appreciated by me only, but usually that's enough. I like that it gives me a sort of realistic idea of how design goes over with the general public. Design is a beautiful language. It's so satisfying to know all the rules and appreciate the minutia, but very unrewarding to be a strict grammatician in the world at large.
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